Wednesday - How to Win an Argument Part 2

Greetings Internet Campus,

The second step in "winning" an argument is a bit more challenging than yesterday's lesson of "listening"

Proverbs 14: 16 "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence."

Understand the other's point of view: This can be challenging...why? Our flesh wants to serve us...naturally. Our tendency in any argument is to make OUR point and have OUR say. Today's step is to stop fighting and actually put yourself in their shoes. Ask a few of these questions about your "opponent" before your next conflict.

1) Have I prayed for them? I have found that it is nearly impossible to do battle with somebody you have been lifting up to God in prayer. The Bible clearly tells us to pray for those that oppose us...have you done that lately? You may wonder...how can I pray for somebody I'm not getting along with? Remember, God loves them just as much as He loves you...no favorites here! The temptation is to pray that they would see things your way. That's not the way to do it. Pray for their family...pray for their health...pray for their spiritual growth...pray for something constructive and positive to happen in their life. You'll be amazed at how many fights you avoid or end quickly as a result.
2) Do they have a point? I might not agree with it...but does it make rational sense? I think many times if we put ourselves in their shoes, we might see that what they are saying is spot-on accurate...or at least comes from a source or life-experience that is both credible and relevant to the situation.
3) Are they under other high-stress from other sources? Is what we're doing here (fighting) really going help the situation? Am I going to cause a deeper hurt to erupt?
4) Why are they so passionate about this?
5) What is at stake for them if they "lose" this argument?
6) How much of their pride is involved if they can't support their side of the fight?
7) Are they fighting simply for the sake of fighting? I've known several people who just find joy in getting you aggravated enough to verbally combat them. It is sport to some people. If you find yourself in this situation...don't feed the fire. Walk away from the argument.

These are just a few of the questions to keep in mind when arguing with someone. I truly believe that if we make a conscious effort to see the situation through the eyes of the person we are disagreeing with...we will make larger strides towards understanding and walk farther away from ignorance.

Write it Down: In your journal, write down the last time you made an effort to see a situation from your "opponents" point of view. What did that do to your mood? Write down a prayer asking God to help you do this each time you disagree with someone.

See you tomorrow... You're almost fully trained in the art of "winning" an argument!

Pastor Brian