Thursday - How to Win an Argument Part 3

Greetings Internet Campus,

Proverbs 14:3 "Frivolous talk provokes a derisive smile; Wise speech evokes nothing but respect."

Present your opinion in a respectful way - If you have children, you know this step is especially important. When my daughter has a difference of opinion from my own (at 8 years old this is happening more than it used to...) she understands that it is OK to express it. However, her tone of voice and phrasing makes all the difference in the world. I have to know that she is respectful of my role as her dad.

Have you ever argued with someone that talked down to you? Someone who made you feel dumb? That's a tactic often used by people that want to "win" an argument alone. They will bully you or demean you to make sure you understand your place. Hear me...this method is completely destructive to a relationship. Trust erodes...intimidation and resentment begin to take its place.

It is imperative that both people with a difference of opinion talk to each other in a supportive and respectful way. Here are some techniques...

a) Wait your turn to speak...remember Tuesday's devotional?
b) Check your volume - loud does not mean that you get to talk more or that you are more important
c) Watch your tone - Sarcasm is NEVER constructive when arguing. At best it will anger the other person...at worst it will be misunderstood and make the problem worse.
d) If you feel disrespected...express it in a kind way. Trading disrespectful jabs at each other will not accomplish anything.

Want to win an argument? Remember...you can't win alone. Both sides need to listen, think about the other person first, and be respectful in communicating. Sound impossible? I can hear you right now..."You don't know my husband/wife/mom/friend/boss/etc." You're right, I don't. But remember, you get to control how YOU react. Keep these three keys in mind...and each conflict that you have will be smoother than the one before.

Write it Down: Write down the names of 3 people that have argued with you in a disrespectful way. Forgive them. I didn't say forget the hurt...I said lift their names up to God and forgive their behaviour. Make a commitment to demonstrate your newly found wisdom in dealing with conflict!

See you tomorrow as we wrap up this topic and prepare our hearts for the weekend!
Pastor Brian