Well today is the last part of our 5 part look into what may master us. We're going to take a look at anger.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Anger is an outward emotion. Underneath, however, are always feelings of fear, hurt, helplessness, or guilt—or a combination of these. Since anger is a God-given emotion, it’s not necessarily bad. If handled properly, it can be used for good and to create change.
There are five possible ways of managing anger. I’ll tell you now, the first three can be very harmful and they don’t resolve the problem!
SUPPRESSION is denying that you are angry. Clamming up can lead to many physical and/or emotional problems, and often the person can only hold things in so long and winds up exploding eventually anyway.
OPEN AGGRESSION includes yelling, stomping, complaining, arguing, criticizing, blaming, throwing things and even physically harming someone else. Basically it’s a rude way of saying, “I want my own way!”
PASSIVE AGGRESSION is a quiet way of expressing anger, but is still inconsiderate and selfish. It includes shutting down, procrastinating, sulking, denying anything is wrong, and complaining behind the person's back. The passive-aggressive person usually hates conflict.
ASSERTIVENESS is the way God desires for us to handle our anger. It’s a positive means of letting others know your thoughts and desires, while communicating in a respectful manner. It’s simply Ephesians 4:15 in action. It’s “speaking the truth in love.” When we learn to do this, we can work toward finding solutions to our problems or finding ways to cope with them. Most times, others will be willing to work with us if we maintain our composure.
LETTING GO OF ANGER is necessary when you realize that nothing else will work. Although you may have tried making adjustments or being assertive, you realize and accept that you cannot control the situation. It is YOUR choice to tolerate the other person's differences, put away angry feelings, and choose to forgive (Ephesians 4:31-32). New events may cause old hurts and frustrations to resurface. Remind yourself of your choice to forgive and commit to the same choice with this new episode.
Thanks for joining me this morning. Remember...how we deal with anger shows others how close we are to Christ's character. My prayer for you is that you (and I) deal with our anger in a way that brings honor to Jesus.
Pastor Brian
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Anger is an outward emotion. Underneath, however, are always feelings of fear, hurt, helplessness, or guilt—or a combination of these. Since anger is a God-given emotion, it’s not necessarily bad. If handled properly, it can be used for good and to create change.
There are five possible ways of managing anger. I’ll tell you now, the first three can be very harmful and they don’t resolve the problem!
SUPPRESSION is denying that you are angry. Clamming up can lead to many physical and/or emotional problems, and often the person can only hold things in so long and winds up exploding eventually anyway.
OPEN AGGRESSION includes yelling, stomping, complaining, arguing, criticizing, blaming, throwing things and even physically harming someone else. Basically it’s a rude way of saying, “I want my own way!”
PASSIVE AGGRESSION is a quiet way of expressing anger, but is still inconsiderate and selfish. It includes shutting down, procrastinating, sulking, denying anything is wrong, and complaining behind the person's back. The passive-aggressive person usually hates conflict.
ASSERTIVENESS is the way God desires for us to handle our anger. It’s a positive means of letting others know your thoughts and desires, while communicating in a respectful manner. It’s simply Ephesians 4:15 in action. It’s “speaking the truth in love.” When we learn to do this, we can work toward finding solutions to our problems or finding ways to cope with them. Most times, others will be willing to work with us if we maintain our composure.
LETTING GO OF ANGER is necessary when you realize that nothing else will work. Although you may have tried making adjustments or being assertive, you realize and accept that you cannot control the situation. It is YOUR choice to tolerate the other person's differences, put away angry feelings, and choose to forgive (Ephesians 4:31-32). New events may cause old hurts and frustrations to resurface. Remind yourself of your choice to forgive and commit to the same choice with this new episode.
Thanks for joining me this morning. Remember...how we deal with anger shows others how close we are to Christ's character. My prayer for you is that you (and I) deal with our anger in a way that brings honor to Jesus.
Pastor Brian
1 comment:
Good morning from West Lafayette, Indiana. Weather turned rainy yesterday....that really makes me mad. Not really. I have really struggled with managing my anger. I distinctly remember seeing my wife & children affected by my anger and that helped motivate me to pay for & take an anger management class. Intellectually addressing an emotional problem was a great challenge, but through the prayers & love of many people I have overcome inappropriate displays of anger. Praise God! I have allowed the Holy Spirit to soften my heart. Occasionally, disobedience will get me very angry and I have to remember to practice "time managememt" and force myself to insert the space of time..... like counting to 100.... 10 isn't nearly long enough. I give all the praise, honor, & glory to my God who has enabled me to victorious over anger!
Stan
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